In Safe Places
by emmaplodocus
Summary: Zero tolerance bullying policies only work if you admit to being bullied. Bad things can still happen in safe places. Kurt may be getting over his past, but Blaine's has followed him to Dalton. "I told you I ran Kurt. I'm still running."
1. Chapter 1

I live in the UK, but following the constructive criticism I received on my one-shot I will try my hardest to write this just like on the show, without British slang. I will more than likely mess up without thinking about it though so if I do and it annoys me, just let me know!

This isn't canon, it wont be AU or anything but the idea I have for this doesn't fit canon at all. I'm also writing Dalton as a boarding school.

Anyway, I think this is all you need to know, so onwards!

xxxx

It had been two weeks since their first kiss, several others had been shared since, all of them just as sweet and just as caring, but Kurt was worried. Not about his relationship, he felt wonderful about being in one with his best friend. He was worried about Blaine though. Something didn't feel right with him.

He was acting as he always did, happy and strong, confident and goofy, always putting everything he had into every single one of his songs and everything he did. Kurt was beginning to see though that the more time he spent with Blaine, the more he seemed to be hiding something.

Or maybe he wasn't hiding something exactly, maybe he was hiding himself, Kurt was beginning to wonder if that dapper boy that the warblers loved was actually quite different from the one that was sat currently opposite him looking exhausted who he thought he could love.

It was one of those rare weekends Kurt was actually staying at Dalton and not going home, his dad was taking Carole away for the weekend, Finn would be with Rachel, and everyone seemed to just have plans with someone else, Kurt didn't want to drive home to spend it alone, so he decided to stay.

They, he and Blaine, Wes, David, Jeff and Thad, were all crammed into a booth at a pizza place celebrating the completion of another school week and leaving their homework to be ignored for another night.

Blaine looked tired, really tried. He looked like there was something missing and it made Kurt's stomach clench thinking something might be wrong with his boyfriend. Leaning over he took his hand and smiled, "are you okay? You look really tired."

"I feel a bit off, I've been working hard this week it's probably stress. I think I'll just pass out in bed when I get back. I'm just gonna have garlic bread and the salad bar though. Won't risk the pizza."

David acted shocked, "Even Kurt's having pizza!"

"Yeah and he'll have to do like ten extra minutes of beauty therapy to cancel out the effects in the morning." Jeff groaned.

"You sleep through it." Kurt smirked at his roommate and squeezed Blaine's hand. Blaine left to go to the toilet and after he disappeared Kurt cleared his throat and turned to his friends.

"Guys…do any of you think that there's something wrong with Blaine lately?"

Wes nodded and looked extremely serious. "We've noticed…"

David blurted out, "It's since he's been going out with you."

"Oh." Kurt sat stunned and tried to keep the hurt expression off of his face. That hurt.

Luckily Wes knew what David meant, "David you're an idiot, think before you speak. Kurt, what David said is true but it isn't you, he's wanted to be with you just as much as you mooned over him before you got together. So there has to be something else."

Jeff kicked Blaine's roommate Thad under the table to get his attention, "sleepover in my room tonight?"

Kurt smiled at them knowing they were giving him a night alone to try and talk to his boyfriend. "Thanks guys."

Blaine returned, and whilst anyone else that didn't know him may think that he was fine, Kurt was picking up little things that were telling him otherwise. He really wasn't eating much, David and Thad had finished off his garlic bread and he had more played with rather than eaten his salad. He listened but rarely spoke and seemed to wish to curl up and sleep than join in like normal.

Kurt's stomach twisted when he realised that he too could pinpoint Blaine's apparent lack of life to the point they became boyfriends.

xxxx

"Wait, I need to grab some stuff from my room."

"Okay, why?"

Kurt pressed a soft kiss to the others lips. "I'm staying with you tonight."

He received a smile that didn't quite meet Blaine's eyes. "Nice."

They settled in Blaine's rooms, Kurt hid in the bathroom and turned the shower on during the brief room check they had and changed into a pair of Blaine's sweats and one of his shirts.

"Blaine I want to talk to you that's why I'm here tonight."

"Oh god this can't be good."

"Don't panic. Come here, hold my hand."

"You're breaking up with me." Blaine looked like he had just been slapped, he looked as though he was about to start crying and Kurt was afraid that he would start as well.

"Don't be stupid. You're perfect Blaine. But something's changed between when we got together and now, or maybe, and I think this is more likely, it was always there and because I'm not focused on trying to impress you I'm only just noticing. I am so sorry for that."

"Please don't call me that."

"Don't call you what?"

"Perfect."

"But why? You are."

"No. I don't know how to be. I'm trying Kurt I really am. But I'm not."

Blaine's hair was starting to curl and he was sat uncharacteristically slumped on his bed. In that moment he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and it made Kurt wonder how not just him, but anyone, could look at him and think him to be the same strong, confident leader that he portrayed so often. But Kurt knew, that no matter if the confident or the lost version was the real one, it wouldn't matter to him because he was perfect.

"Blaine is this why you've been acting weird? I don't want to pressure you, I don't want you to change yourself, I'm sorry for calling you perfect all the time but it doesn't mean I want you to be, I just mean you're perfect to me."

"I'm sorry, you've never seen me like this before."

"I know, but we're boyfriends, so in a horrible way I'm glad I get to see this side of you too. You've seen it on me countless times, it feels like its only fair."

Kurt felt better at seeing Blaine smile.

"You've always been perfect, ever since that moment I met you on the staircase and instead of beating me up you brought me coffee and became my best friend. I don't ever want you to change. But I do want you to be yourself around me Blaine, please don't feel you can't be. You're allowed to be vulnerable."

"Kurt there's some stuff you don't know about me, and I'm not ready to tell you yet. I think though, in time, you'll be the person here I am ready to tell. I told you I ran Kurt. I'm still running."

Kurt turned the bedroom light off and pulled Blaine's covers back on his bed, they climbed in together and Kurt just stared into his boyfriends gorgeous hazel eyes before he realised he should answer.

"I don't want to make you tell me until you're ready, but please know I'm here when you are okay? I hope you do trust in me eventually. I will help you however I can."

"Okay."

They shared a kiss and Blaine fell asleep almost instantly, it took Kurt longer to doze off because he was enjoying the view of the boy who looked more peaceful now than he had all week. Whatever Blaine was going through, which sounded like it was an issue he had coped with for a long time, Kurt would help him with it. Blaine deserved to understand why Kurt thought he was perfect.

xxxx

I would really appreciate any feedback, even if it's just a simple "continue" or "don't bother", and simply by just adding this to your alerts will let me know you're reading. :)

I have a unique idea for this, for Blaine and it hasn't been in any of the fanfics I've read anyway so I'm excited to do something that I don't think has particularly widely explored (obviously I haven't read everything so I'm not claiming I'm the first lol). I hope you stick with it anyway.

This was a short introduction which can be summarised by saying 'angsty Blaine.'

Thanks for reading!

P.S. my tumblr is on my homepage :)


	2. Chapter 2

The response to chapter 1 was amazing, seriously guys I'm not complaining but it did make me nervous to post this!

This might be moving too fast but I suck at writing filler scenes and they give me major writers block (I'm doing fanfic because of the block I've hit with my original stuff)…this is planned out and should be at least 15 chapters anyway, so I'm just going to jump right in with the plot. I think that risking it reading as a bit rushed is better than you waiting months between updates…

xxxxx

"You should act, not sing."

"What?" Blaine looked really caught off guard at Kurt's words.

Kurt had spent the entire morning with Blaine after their night together. They were all hanging out in the common room belonging to their dorm rooms, Kurt had his homework laid out in front of him but hadn't done anything to it.

He didn't know exactly what he was expecting Blaine to be like after showing a new side of himself for the first time the night before, but he hadn't expected him to go back to acting like nothing was wrong. He was over the top, happy and full-of-it. Kurt wondered how many of the times in the past Blaine had acted like this had been acts.

"Your acting skills. They're excellent."

"I'm not acting Kurt, I'm okay. I feel loads better this morning."

"I just thought that after last night, what you told me you wouldn't be able to jump straight back into pretending. You don't have to act like this all the time. We're your friends, no one cares if you have an off moment you know?"

"I know."

Kurt squeezed his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I don't think you do."

"Guys I'm bored!" David sat on the back of the sofa and fell backwards onto the cushions lying upside down and staring at Kurt and Blaine. Normally Kurt would be annoyed at such an interruption but right now he was glad for a break in the tension.

"David get up quick!" Wes pulled him to the floor by the scruff of his shirt. "The dean's coming, he's showing a new guy around. No one will go here if they walk in and see you sprawled out like a cheap whore."

"I'm not cheap."

"Is it not unusual then to get mid-semester transfers?" Kurt mused.

Wes smiled. "Not at all. There's people who transfer for reasons like yours and Blaine's and then a lot of mid-semester transfers are actually your stereotypical cases of people getting shipped around by their parents."

That moment saw the Dean walk in with a tall slender boy sporting jet-black hair and a set expression as his eyes scanned the room.

"Ah boys hello! This is Alex, I'm just showing him around, he's moving some stuff into his dorm ready for his first day Monday." The guys waved at him. "Alex, this is the common room, it's where people like to pretend to study."

Kurt laughed and Alex's eyes fell to him for a second before sliding to focus exclusively on Blaine. His expression did not falter, but he walked right up to Blaine and extended his hand.

"Blaine right?" Blaine took the boys hand but looked confused, like he couldn't place the boy. "I think you knew my cousin."

"Oh right, who's your cousin?"

"Travis Maddock."

Blaine's hand fell out of the others instantly like his hand had suddenly turned to lead. The boy smirked at him, unseen from the dean.

"I can't wait to get to know you Blaine." Then he left without even a second glance to any of them.

Kurt knew instantly he didn't like the guy. He had spent enough time in school standing around the jocks who would act nice whilst waiting for the teachers to pass. He recognised the act.

All three boys turned to stare at Blaine after the strange encounter as David voiced what they were all thinking. "Who the fuck was that stiff?"

"He can't wait to get to know you?"

"Blaine who was that? Who was his cousin?"

"I don't know who he is. His cousin was at my old school."

Kurt stood up, "presuming he was not one of the good guys in your old school and following on from his little introduction, I'm going to talk to the dean."

"Kurt no. He can't do anything here. You know that." Kurt looked at Wes and David who just shrugged – they knew nothing more than he did.

"If he says even one thing to you Blaine I'm reporting him. I will not have you pushed around again. Only I can do that. Got it?"

Blaine nodded and Kurt kissed him ignoring the wolf whistles from Wes and David as he did. Blaine left not long after that and Kurt stayed with Wes and David instead of going with him.

"What do you guys think about this Alex guy?"

"I think it's…weird…" Wes stated slowly.

"But, nothing has actually happened so we just have to be reassured by the zero tolerance policy if something does, you know? It is enforced Kurt."

Kurt nodded. After all, he knew virtually nothing, he could only guess at what level of shit Blaine was put through at his old school. With so much missing information he tried to reassure himself that he shouldn't jump to any conclusions. Blaine was safe here. They all were.

xxxxx

"It is so nice to have a day without Warbler practice." Jeff smirked as he laid on his stomach playing some kind of video game Kurt didn't really care about.

"Yeah well he's just recharging so he can go bat-shit crazy in the run up for Sectionals."

"Details, details."

Kurt's phone buzzed in his pocket – a text from Thad flashed up on his screen. 'Blaine is really ill right now. xx'

Kurt was sending back his reply of 'be right there xx' when he was already halfway out the door. He knocked on their door and Thad opened it immediately, "I'm gonna leave you to it Kurt, I don't think he really wants me here."

"Thanks." Kurt winced at the retching sounds coming from the bathroom and walked in to find Blaine panting next to the toilet. He rubbed his back for a minute before sorting him out a glass of water.

"It's okay now I think I've puked everything up."

"What brought this on?"

"I don't know. How come you're here anyway?" Blaine finally looked up at Kurt who was shocked to see that whilst his face was pale red, his eyes were also rimmed red.

"Thad text me."

"Oh cool. I can't do anything without him getting my boyfriend to check up on me."

"He just text me to say you were really sick so I came over to take care of you. You're making it sound like we're spying on you, that you're annoyed almost like there was something to report." Kurt's tone was icy. Whatever Blaine was going through right now he was not about to take it out on him.

"No, I'm sorry Kurt, having my head in the loo doesn't put me in the best of moods. I'll go shower and we can watch a film together okay? I'll stop being a dick I promise."

Kurt nodded. "Shall I go and make you something to eat? A dry piece of toast might line your stomach."

Blaine winced "no thanks."

"Okay, go shower and I'll put the film in. Brush your teeth!"

xxxxx

That entire week Blaine was fine. He was his normal self and Kurt was so thankful for it.

"Please don't gooooo!" Blaine was whining about how everyone in the entire world was leaving him to be alone this weekend.

"You might actually get some work done. Walk me to my car?"

"Only because you take so much stuff home with you for the weekend you can't go by yourself."

"Necessities."

"My sister wouldn't deem half of it necessary."

"You're an only child."

"If I had a sister -"

"Blah blah blah. You know I'm taking you home with me one weekend as my boyfriend don't you?"

"So I can get threatened officially?"

"Pretty much. You know, never having a boyfriend before means I don't know what dad will do to you…maybe he'll kill you. Just to be safe."

"Maybe he won't have to if you're single again."

"You wound me."

Blaine swept him up in a massive bear hug. "I'm sorry I was a bit off at the start of the week Kurt."

"It's okay. I would like it if you told me something about your past at some point though. It might make you feel better."

"Soon."

"Okay." Blaine leant in and caught Kurt's lips with his own, Kurt smiled and leant into his boyfriend, they were just starting to move from relaxed and chaste to 'sorry I'm late home dad I got distracted' when David appeared from nowhere and pretty much shouted in their faces.

Both boys jumped back and Kurt yelped. Blaine kicked him in the shin, "I almost bit my tongue you twat!"

Wes was howling with laughter that Kurt did not appreciate. "That was so funny!"

Kurt ignored David's joking request for an apology kiss as all four boys made their way to Kurt's car, "this is why I go home any chance I get."

xxxxx

LOL after all that this ended up being half filleresque anyway.

Next chapter soon!

Thanks again guys, you've really made me feel welcome in the fanfic community :)


	3. Chapter 3

You guys are wonderful. 3

xxxxx

Kurt, Blaine, Wes and David were in Wes and David's room waiting for their pizza. Two large pizzas, sides, garlic bread and fizzy drinks. Every teenagers dream dinner.

"You two can go downstairs and fetch it because if we leave you here you'll get it on in my bed." Kurt flushed. They so would not. Him and Blaine had only kissed, which Kurt loved, but the thought that he and Blaine might get to the stage they would jump into someone else's bed made his entire body flush.

"Screw you, we'd catch something."

David smirked. "Not if you use condoms you won't."

"Okay we're going now Blaine! We can mess with their pizza or something."

"David will eat his anyway, you know that."

Holding hands they ambled down towards the front gates of Dalton where the pizza guy would have to stop, however they didn't even have to go outside. Alex walked through the doors, boxes stacked in his arms and a bag swinging from his hand, Kurt never thought anything of it until he greeted Blaine.

"Blaine these are yours."

"Oh."

"I was coming through the gates, saw the pizza guy and offered to bring it in."

"Thanks." Kurt said taking the boxes from him. Alex was tall. Taller than him, who was taller than Blaine anyway. Alex's black hair was windswept and he walked with a distinct air of confidence about him. He had shocking blue eyes, they were icy. Kurt didn't know what to make of this strange new guy who had recognised Blaine without Blaine knowing him.

He turned to Blaine after unloading the pizza and smiled at him, this smile seemed genuine though, unlike the smirk he had offered to Blaine that time in the common rooms. His voice was smooth, calm and joking, and his smile never left as he spoke. "Is all that for you?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes and immediately decided that with those five weird words, no he did not like the boy, because what kind of fucking question was that?

Blaine however didn't seem phased. He just thanked him and took Kurt's hand again leading him back to Wes and David's room, talking animatedly all the way until they entered and David all but screamed declarations of love before snatching a pizza and settling on the floor in victory.

It was a great night. Not particularly Kurt's preferred choice in films – two and a half out of the four Die Hards but then again Bruce Willis wasn't too hard on the eyes. 'You win some you lose some,' Kurt thought as he admired the muscles on the lead character.

Kurt really appreciated being invited to a proper guys night. He was always recipient of invitations to the girl's nights in. Which Mercedes, Rachel and Tina especially had very often. Rachel's dads never minding her gay friend staying over and his own dad not having to worry about becoming a grandfather. He never got invited to the guy's nights though. He had always tried to never let it get to him, it's not like he was never close to the guys anyway, he couldn't confide in them like he could with the girls but it was just like that time in glee where it was the boys against the girls and the guys had sent him away – in hindsight he should be thankful considering he had met Blaine. But still. It was a shame he had never bonded with the guys of glee.

It was alien for Kurt, having guy friends and guy nights full of weird talk, sexual innuendo, never ending piss takes, junk food and action movies.

So Kurt allowed himself to eat the pizza, he liked to indulge just like everyone else. Especially because tonight was such a good night.

Kurt noticed though, that even though he had only had three slices of pizza and some garlic bread and despite Wes and David demolishing most of everything, there was still quite a bit left over. Kurt, noticed that Blaine hadn't eaten much. It was natural, for Kurt's eyes to stray to his boyfriend whenever they were close – Blaine was gorgeous after all, and tonight he was just wearing black sweatpants and a green T-shirt, his hair was as curly as Kurt had ever seen it and he seemed full of life as he rolled around laughing at the jokes of his friends. He gorgeous without effort.

Kurt saw that Blaine had only actually eaten one slice of pizza. After watching him carefully he saw that he would carry his pizza around, play with it, put it back down and pick it back up, but he only ate one slice.

The uneasy feeling settling within his stomach had nothing to do with the calories he had just consumed. Kurt was worried. But he knew that it wasn't the right thing to do to call him out on it now in the middle of a good night and in front of other people as well. Kurt knew though that something must be bothering Blaine for him to lose his appetite, and he vowed to find out what had happened.

xxxxx

Kurt could spot the slickly gelled hair of his gorgeous boyfriend from a mile away. Classes had ended and he spotted Blaine at the bottom of the hallway of their dorms, he was facing away from him but it was defiantly him. Smirking Kurt expertly made his way silently down the hallway and wrapped his hands tightly around the boys middle squeezing and rocking them both to the side.

"Guess who?"

It was supposed to be cute. A massive bear hug hello for his boyfriend who would laugh, and turn around so they could hug properly. A surprise.

It was not however cute. But it was indeed a surprise. Blaine yelped. Kurt released his hold instantly as he listened to Blaine curse in apparent pain.

"Blaine I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I though it would be nice, you know? Sneak up on you, give you a big hug! I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Kurt calm down you didn't it's okay."

"But I did!"

"You didn't do it though, it's okay. You didn't know."

"What's wrong?" Blaine looked uncharacteristically shy, and Kurt decided to be uncharacteristically bold by pressing him up against the hallway wall. Such a show was only able to be carried out simply because Kurt knew this wasn't sexual, it was supposed to be tender, otherwise he would be a quivering mess right now. He lowered his hand and un-tucked Blaine's clean white shirt from his pants, he met the others eyes silently asking for permission to lift it up, he wasn't greeted with any explicitly but Blaine hadn't pulled away either so Kurt counted the lack of resistance as permission and lifted the shirt up.

It was actually the first time he had seen Blaine's stomach, they weren't quite at the point of undressing during their make out sessions yet. Kurt blushed, but he couldn't appreciate how truly nice Blaine's body was because the colourful bruising that laid there was forcing several unpleasant memories down his throat that overpowered any hormonal ones that may have screamed at him to shove Blaine in the nearest bedroom.

"Oh. Blaine. What happened?" Kurt had suffered enough in the past. Dumpster tosses and locker slams were not easy on the body, he knew the bruises Blaine had hurt.

Blaine was avoiding his eyes and he gently pulled his shirt down again.

"I fell."

"Blaine you're looking at the master of lying away bruises, 'I fell' is not going to cut it."

"Kurt I seriously did. I tripped getting out of the shower and I fell into the sink."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"I never had a chance too, it only happened last night."

"Honestly?"

"Kurt this is Dalton." There was something in Blaine's gaze that Kurt didn't know how to decipher but Kurt didn't understand why he would lie away a bruise when the adults in this school would take it seriously if it were placed there on purpose.

"I'm sorry for making it worse."

"It's okay, if it didn't hurt so much it would be hilarious. Kiss me better?" A smile lined Kurt's lips as he did so, he kept a tender hand on Blaine's stomach as he relished in the fact that his wonderful boy was his boyfriend, and that he was kissing in public. Kurt loved it and it never crossed his mind for a second after that reassurance that Blaine might be lying.

xxxxx

I'm only saying this once - I don't own Die Hard and as this is fanfiction I clearly don't own glee!

Seriously guys, thank you so much. I genuinely appreciate all of your feedback. I hope you enjoyed this. :)


	4. Chapter 4

On his way back from his last class of the day Kurt saw Blaine talking to Alex in the hallway. He still didn't know anything about this guy but he had seen enough to now that Blaine never seemed happy after a conversation with him and that was all that mattered. Indeed, Blaine didn't look happy right now so Kurt walked straight up to them and grabbed Blaine's hand smiling. The smile slid off of his face at Alex's comment.

"Is he yours Blaine?"

"He's my boyfriend."

"Oh wow, I never thought you'd have got someone who would want to stick with you." Blaine, so usually good at hiding emotions couldn't hide the fact that that comment had gotten to him.

Kurt snapped. "What is your problem?"

"No problem. Just surprised is all."

"Well don't be. Blaine's my boyfriend and I wouldn't touch you if I had to chose between that and being alone my entire life."

"I wouldn't want you to. Fag."

Kurt bristled. He would barely have flinched back at McKinley where that word was thrown around constantly, but here at Dalton it caught him off guard.

"Come on Blaine, let's go to the Dean."

Alex's laugh cut straight through Kurt.

"Tell him what? You have no proof I called you a bad word. Report me all you want but zero tolerance or not they'll still need proof otherwise anyone would be able to get anybody they wanted expelled just by making up some story involving a bit of name calling. If you think this is a reportable bullying offence you are in for a rude awakening when you get to the real world."

Blaine finally spoke. "Just fuck off."

Alex saluted. "Good day boys."

Kurt was fuming, he grabbed Blaine's arm and forcibly tugged him up to his and Jeff's room which was thankfully empty.

"Blaine you're just going to have to tell me whatever it is you're hiding because you just stood there and let him walk all over you."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"Bollocks. We need to go and report him Blaine!"

"Kurt he's right, they can't punish him without proof."

"So we should just not say anything? It's bullying and it's exactly what I moved here to avoid. What you moved here to avoid."

"It's not."

"Yes. It is."

"It doesn't mean everyone has to be friends though Kurt – you're safe here, of course you are, but don't be so naïve."

"You shouldn't let him push you around."

Blaine was sat completely rigid staring at Kurt. "Why were you so worried when you came here when you knew it was zero tolerance?"

Kurt's stomach sank, because whatever this was, he had just lost but he answered the question anyway, never being one to back down and too far gone to realise he might be damaging the credibility of his own argument. "In case no one liked me."

"Exactly. You'd know if people didn't like you despite the policy because we're all teenage boys and we can't all play nice all the time, you're not telling me you like everyone you've met here."

"I don't understand why you're sticking up for him. He was wrong and you know it."

"Yes and if someone had overheard him calling us fags then that counts but its us against him."

"How does he know you? You didn't know him so who the fuck is he to come here and act like this towards you?" Silence. "Who is his cousin that you knew?"

Blaine showed the first sign of emotion of the entire conversation. He closed his eyes and screwed them shut and Kurt knew he was missing something but he didn't know what.

"Blaine, come on sweetheart look at me." Kurt knelt on the floor, ignoring any normal worries about dirtying his uniform, he rested his elbows gently on his boyfriends knees and looked straight at those gorgeous hazel eyes as they focused on Kurt. "Please tell me what's wrong."

He left.

xxxxx

The next morning Kurt all but barrelled down to the dining hall for breakfast pleased to see that everyone was there apart from Blaine.

Kurt wasted no time, aware of the fact that Blaine could turn up at any time.

"Do you guys know who that Alex is? How he knows Blaine? How Blaine knows whoever-the-hell his cousin is?"

Wes, David, Jeff and Thad all gave him their utmost attention and Wes shook his head. "No sorry. He's never mentioned anyone called Alex before."

"Something is wrong with him though, he's acting weird. I know that we discussed this last week at the pizza place, but if anything he's gotten worse."

Kurt instantly turned all his attention to Thad, he was Blaine's roommate so he might have noticed something Kurt hadn't.

"How so?"

"He was up at stupid 'o clock this morning, went for a run, and he still wasn't back when I left."

"What?" This information completely blind sighted Kurt, he didn't know that Blaine ran.

"He used to run loads when he first got to Dalton, but then he stopped doing it. Guess he's started again. Crazy bastard."

"Kurt…I don't like the idea of something being wrong with Blaine as much as you but what can you do about it if he isn't telling you anything? Maybe there genuinely isn't anything to talk about." Kurt shot David a glare.

"I would much prefer him to tell me what's wrong himself but he won't and I know my boyfriend, there is something wrong."

Wes nodded, "he is kind of…off the mark at the moment. We're all worried about him."

"I'm convinced it has to do with this Alex guy. I know that he was acting funny before that guy moved here but have any of you seen them together? There's something between them. I'm worried."

The conversation had prove much less helpful than Kurt had hoped but the arrival of Blaine himself cut it short. He looked very pale and still have a light sheen of sweat over him despite the fact that he would have showered after his run.

"Hi guys." Kurt smiled as he laced their hands together before sitting down and dumping his bag under the table.

Thad was glaring at him only half mockingly. "Well look who it is."

"Sorry I woke you Thad. Though I think I'm going to start running again…"

The sound of Thad's head smacking onto the table made Kurt smirk.

"How come?"

"I could use the exercise."

Kurt frowned and stroked his arm, "I don't think you do. Plus I don't want you to be able to run off from me."

Wes snorted. "Maybe you should put him on a leash Kurt."

A smile lined Kurt's lips, "you know he would look good in a collar…"

Blaine let out a laugh that ironically sounded more like a bark and all the other guys wore looks that clearly stated Kurt had just shared far too much information.

"If you've been for a long run you need to eat, here. You stay and I'll fetch your food."

"Thanks."

Blaine ate everything from the large portion of food Kurt had given him and Kurt smiled, maybe his run had been to clear his head. Maybe it had worked if Blaine had his appetite back.

Kurt wanted to try and talk to him again, maybe with a full stomach and after a run – sports were supposed to relieve stress right? – he would be willing to talk.

He wasn't, he went straight away after he had finished eating despite Kurt being in his first period English class with him to which Blaine was five minutes late.

xxxxx

As ever, thank you for reading!

The end of next chapter you will know what's wrong with Blaine. I've toyed with the idea of prolonging it, but what you find out is only half the story and it was never my intention to have this reveal later on anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt was up against the wall, his legs felt like jelly but he had no desire to sit down as having his boyfriend pin him there was more than pleasant.

Kurt looped both his arms around Blaine's neck and ran his fingers through his thankfully ungelled hair, Blaine's hands were on Kurt's hips, his thumbs massaging Kurt's skin there.

Kurt thought his heart was about to leap out of his chest and knock out his boyfriend, this was the furthest they had gotten whilst making out. Kurt was worried that Blaine would be disappointed with him, but he couldn't bare to tear his lips away from the other boys for long enough to voice his insecurities. Besides, if the little throaty noises Blaine was making were anything to judge by it couldn't be too bad.

Kurt found himself making similar noises when the heat of Blaine's mouth was redirected to his neck and he was too wrapped up in what they were doing to be embarrassed by the fact that he think he just growled.

Kurt didn't know what to do, his mind was fuzzy, he slid a hand down Blaine's side and went to his stomach, he slid it back up and grabbed Blaine's collar pulling him even closer. He left his sock clad foot come up and rub against Blaine's shin and – fuck, was that his teeth on his neck?

Kurt arched at the more than pleasant feelings that were running throughout his body at being bitten and then he gasped out because when he arched his lower body met Blaine's and oh, that felt good.

What felt better though was when Blaine pulled him away from the wall and lightly shoved him backwards.

"Blaine what -"

"Trust me."

Kurt felt something soft hit the backs of his knees and they buckled, he let out a surprised sound as his hands found Blaine's collar again as he crawled up towards the head of the bed, dragging him with him. Blaine was kneeling over Kurt now who pulled him down by the nape of his neck and attached their lips together again.

They laid on top of each other and when Blaine got hungry for more Kurt didn't stop him. He smiled when he felt Blaine's hand reach under his shirt, he watched as Blaine sat up and tugged his shirt up slightly pressing a stream of kisses on the milky skin. His eyes searched Kurt's, asking for permission to explore further. Kurt felt too good right now to deny the advance, he felt so comfortable and hardly had to think about it as he sat up and they both lifted the shirt off of his body.

Blaine stared at his boyfriend. "God you're gorgeous."

Kurt smiled and allowed himself to be laid back down. Blaine was attacking his stomach with his mouth and Kurt didn't even know what the hell kind of nonsense was coming out of his mouth in response. Never before had he given his nipples much thought and now Blaine's tongue was fucking everywhere and he never thought he would be able to give anything any thought ever again.

Kurt's hands found them at the hem of Blaine's own shirt, he knew that after this he wanted Blaine's shirt on his floor as soon as possible. He began to pull it up but frowned slightly when his hands were pushed away and Blaine shook his head slightly.

"Let me see your gorgeous body." Kurt's hands were pushed away again and Blaine pulled off him completely.

"No."

"Okay. That's fine Blaine, you don't have to take it off you don't want too." There was no way Kurt was going to push his boyfriend into something he didn't want to do.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, come on. Don't be sorry." Kurt knelt next to him which placed him slightly higher than him and he leant down to kiss him carefully. "I'm not going to make you do anything you're not ready for. Yeah?"

Blaine nodded. "I think I'm gonna go though."

"Blaine, no come on." Kurt rushed and put his shirt back on. "Let's just lie together and watch a movie instead."

"I'm sorry."

Kurt felt awful. He'd obviously pushed Blaine too far. He looked at the door his boyfriend had just left through. Quick departures made by Blaine were happening a lot lately.

xxxxx

"Hey Thad, is Blaine here?"

Thad had answered the door to his and Blaine's room looking extremely ruffled – he really wasn't a morning person. "Running again." He grimaced.

"Was he, was he okay last night?"

"He was fine. He didn't talk much or anything but that isn't completely unusual. He showered and went straight to bed though, so I didn't talk to him much…"

"He hasn't already eaten then?"

"No."

"Okay, thanks." Kurt made his way down to the cafeteria knowing that after another long run Blaine would be there eventually.

It was earlier than he usually got there, but Wes and David were there.

"Hi guys."

David smirked, "you sound quite glum considering you have a hickey the size of a small cat on your neck."

Kurt flushed. He had sat down that morning intent on covering it with make-up but decided it didn't deserve to be hidden like one of his old bruises and it would show Blaine he was pleased with how it got there. Plus, it's not like his dad was going to see him before it faded…

"Have you seen Blaine?"

"Not yet. Are you okay?"

Kurt frowned slightly at Wes. "I'm not sure. Last night we were making out…it was the furthest we've got together and he didn't want to take his shirt off…he left and I think I upset him. I want to apologise."

"Blaine's crazy about you I don't see why he wouldn't want to go that far with you…"

"Thanks David."

Kurt had his insecurities and usually he would have been worried Blaine was unhappy with him but Blaine had seemed more than happy until Kurt tried to get him undressed so Kurt was thinking the insecurities were on Blaine's part and not because of him.

"So…what happened?"

"We were lying on my bed and I had my shirt off and I tried to take his off and he didn't want it, I tried again and he told me no and I stopped. I swear I didn't push him, but he didn't even want to stay for a movie instead, he just left."

"Sorry Kurt. I have no idea why he wouldn't want too." David nodded in sympathy and Kurt just munched on an apple in silence.

Blaine didn't show up for breakfast.

xxxxx

It wasn't until that night that Kurt saw Blaine. They had no classes together that day, Blaine wasn't at dinner and he never answered his phone.

In spite of all of his friends telling him not to be worried, he was.

What had he done wrong?

"Oh, hey Blaine." Kurt's head snapped towards the door, he was so out of it he hadn't even heard the knock on the door net alone heard Jeff answer it. "Come in."

Jeff lead an awkward looking Blaine into the room and grabbed his jacket, "I'll leave you both to it."

Kurt smiled. "Thanks Jeff."

Blaine was looking insanely lost. Like he didn't know whether to open his mouth and beg for forgiveness or just to be silent and wait for Kurt to yell at him. He was nervous which made him all the more shocked when Kurt apologised.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I clearly made you uncomfortable last night and I am, so sorry for that because you have been nothing but a kind and patient gentleman to me. True, you didn't need to ignore me all today but…I am sorry."

Blaine wrapped him in a really tight hug as he spoke. "I am so sorry Kurt. It had nothing to do with you, you're gorgeous and you're perfect but I'm not ready for me to go that far."

"Come here." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand. "That's fine. Honestly, I will never push you into doing anything you don't want to do, I would hate for you to try and force me into something so I would never do that to you."

"I don't deserve you."

"You deserve anything you want. But Blaine, I'm your boyfriend. Why didn't you just tell me this last night instead of leaving? We should be honest with each other."

"I just panicked. It was horrible of me to just leave. I'm sorry."

Kurt watched in shock as Blaine hissed and dug the palms of his hands into his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm actually not feeling well."

Kurt moved to him quickly, his eyes flickered a bit and he tilted forward a bit.

"Sit down."

"I feel quite dizzy and I have a really bad headache."

"Do you want me to take you to the nurse?"

"No, what can she do?"

"Here then I'll give you some pain killers to take and you can lie down a bit. Do you want to stay here for the night?"

"Yeah. Yeah I would."

"Feel better Blaine."

"I'm sorry Kurt."

"I will never be mad at you for being honest with me."

They settled in bed together and just lay talking quietly for a while, it wasn't late but it didn't take Blaine long to drop off to sleep. It did however take a lot of reassurance on Kurt's part before he did that they were both okay together. He felt bad for Blaine, he obviously had insecurities Kurt didn't yet know about and he had been so reserved and worried about the night before I was obvious Blaine really cared. Kurt snuggled down next to him and kissed him gently. He hoped the next time they tried to go further with the physical stuff it would end in a more pleasant way, now Kurt knew Blaine's limit. It did bother Kurt slightly though that Blaine seemed intent on sharing his personal information very slowly…

xxxxx

So apparently I lied when I said you would know what's wrong with Blaine this chapter because this just ran away with me. No-one's guessed yet which is making me think the reveal next chapter will be far too early but oh well!

I would really appreciate feedback on the making out scene because I've never written one before and my brain was just screaming URRRRRR at me the entire time - I don't have any experience myself LOL (too much info?)

Thanks for the support guys!


	6. Chapter 6

"Blaine, sweetheart wake up." Kurt woke Friday morning and tried to rouse the boy next to him, he felt bad because Blaine actually looked peaceful.

He smiled. "Morning. Thanks for letting me stay Kurt."

"Feeling better?"

"Much."

Kurt rolled out of bed with ease - he had always been a morning person. Jeff had come back last night just before curfew, Kurt would have to make sure he thanked his roommate before the year ended for being so cool with him having his boyfriend sleep over. Then again, he _was_ Jeff's personal alarm clock. He tickled Jeff's foot on his way to the bathroom which was hanging out of his covers and rolled his eyes when he just jerked it away and gave him the finger instead of getting up.

When Kurt got out the bathroom he saw Jeff was awake, but still lounging in bed.

"Your toyboy's just done the walk of shame back to his room."

"Stride of pride, Jeff. Stride of pride."

xxxxx

Kurt grabbed some toast, a coffee and a bowl of salad for his breakfast and approached the table his friends were at. He walked up behind Blaine and could hear Wes and David speaking to him.

"- breakfast?"

"Nah, I already grabbed something."

Kurt swooped in and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's neck. "Already grabbed what?"

"Something to eat." David supplied whilst stuffing his own face with bacon and eggs.

"No he didn't. Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"You haven't eaten already."

Blaine had obviously had much practice in holding together his perfect façade, it slipped a few millimetres though and Kurt saw it. The slight dimming of his smile before it was turned right back up again.

"Oh, I didn't realise I had said that, I meant I will grab something."

Blaine was already halfway out of the cafeteria before Kurt's command to not lie to him was even out of his mouth.

He would not let this drop.

He followed, and Wes and David followed him.

He corned him in a thankfully empty hallway. "Blaine! Why lie Blaine? I was with you this morning bar when you went back to your own room to change and you still made it to breakfast before I did."

"I just wasn't hungry." He was defensive.

"Then why didn't you say so? Loads of people aren't breakfast people. It's fine not to be hungry. So what's the point in lying?"

"Kurt if I don't feel like breakfast then that's my call."

"Clearly you're annoyed which obviously means you lied on purpose and you're annoyed I figured that out, I just don't understand why."

Kurt realised with a sinking horror that if he really thought about it he hadn't seen Blaine eat all that much lately. No wonder he was so crabby. Blaine chose not to answer instead he scowled at Wes and David who had just rounded the corner looking confused and concerned.

"Great. An audience is all we need."

Wes frowned. "Blaine what the hell is wrong with you? If you haven't eaten and told us you had all Kurt wants to know if why you lied. He has a right to."

"Yeah," David nodded. "We want to know too, if there's something wrong you should tell us."

They all usually got to breakfast at a decent time as none of them liked to rush and Kurt did have to admit it was nice being able to start the school day by relaxing with your friends. They still had a full thirty minutes before classes started which was plenty of time considering their first major argument as a couple didn't even take five.

"Kurt needs to leave me alone."

"Blaine…" Kurt's voice broke and his brows creased together in worry but he knew that for once, this situation couldn't be blamed on him, he wasn't over analysing or worrying for nothing because David and Wes looked equally shocked. "Come on. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." His snappish tone suggested otherwise.

"I want to help you, you've been off for a while now, tell me what's wrong. Please."

"Kurt stop spying on me and fuck off."

Wes and David let out a simultaneous exclamation of "Blaine!" but Kurt was silent.

His mind was racing. This was supposed to be his strong and caring boyfriend, but right now he just looked like a child caught sneaking in an early dessert. Kurt hadn't meant to corner him, and had he known it would have had such an effect he never would have done so in front of others. Something was defiantly wrong. That didn't mean though, that Kurt caring condoned Blaine's actions towards him, there being something wrong didn't mean that Kurt could just brush this off. He was sensitive, and he was insecure, who wouldn't be when their boyfriend was so much better than them?

He never thought Blaine would speak that way to him, he was going to find out what was wrong and he was going to fix it – because luckily he wasn't insecure _enough_ to believe it was his fault so there had to be something going on, but for now, as he stood in front of Blaine who clearly just wished that he could run away, he would grant Blaine his wish. Two seconds of eye contact was all it took for Blaine to see that Kurt was near tears and for Kurt to see something that he hoped was regret flashing in the other's eyes.

This time it was Kurt who left.

xxxxx

Classes flew past and Kurt knew in the back of his mind that he would pay for his inattentiveness when it came to trying to understand his homework. Right now though his mind was elsewhere. He had sent dinner sitting almost silently, listening to everyone speculate about Blaine. Unsurprisingly Blaine wasn't there.

Fifteen minutes into dinner though, Kurt had left to answer a phone call from Mercedes.

"Have you made plans for the weekend?"

"Family night tonight then I'm free game, anything to suggest?"

"Can we hang out? Just us, I…I want to talk to you."

"Are you okay 'Cedes?"

"Just missing my boy, I'll be okay after you've talked it all away."

"Tomorrow you're mine. We'll shop until we collapse at the food court, sound good?"

"You're the best."

"You know, you didn't have to wait until I was home for the weekend, you should have called I would have come home for an evening, no questions asked. You know that, right?"

Whilst it was true one of Kurt's main insecurities revolving around Dalton was whether or not he would make any friends, he was, although he would never admit it, scared about losing touch with those at home. He had made every effort to make sure he didn't.

To his relief, she laughed and it brought a smile to his own face when he heard it. "That's why I didn't. It's nothing urgent and I don't want you to make the long drive home when you have to do it again a couple of hours and a couple of days later. Plus the price of gas is ridiculous. I know what you're like, that's why I left it. I will see you tomorrow."

"I'll pick you up, eleven okay?"

"Perfect. Love you."

"Love you too, bye."

xxxxx

Grabbing his weekend bags Kurt headed down to the parking lot. He couldn't be more relieved to be going home.

He had sent a text to Blaine before he left simply saying "Going home for the weekend, I'll have my phone if you decide to apologise."

It wasn't a necessary text but Kurt sent it anyway. He knew something was wrong with Blaine but he also knew he himself was upset at the other boy's words, and he was allowed to show it.

Not wanting to be upset for the drive or for when he got home he let his mind wander elsewhere. Now he wasn't at home every day he missed family nights all the more.

What he was not expecting from this family dinner was for his dad to slip in, not so subtly, that he wanted to meet Blaine.

"You've met him before…"

Carole was smiling. "We want to meet him as your boyfriend though!"

Finn smiled for an entirely different reason, "Burt wants to intimidate him." He added on almost proudly, "I'm going to help. I got your back bro."

Burt denied nothing.

xxxxx

Mercedes was already waiting outside for him the next morning. They parked and entered the mall. It was the perfect place for private conversations, it was madness – you weren't going to be overheard unless you were being stalked.

Kurt grabbed her hand they swung their hands between them. "What did you want to talk about?"

Now they were together it seemed she didn't want to talk at all. "You know what, I was just being silly."

"No you weren't. Come on. Talk to meeee."

"I'm not feeling very good about myself lately."

Kurt felt like his eyes had just doubled in size and for a second he froze.

"You are the one that kept me together, you were the one there for me encouraging me to accept myself when I was the scared boy who wasn't brave enough to tell people I was gay. You, are not someone who should be feeling down about themselves. You are gorgeous and you're my best friend for a reason so what the hell has brought this on?"

"I like Sam."

"What? Oh my god! This is amazing. You would make such a good couple! We have to get you together."

She smiled. "By all means…"

"Why are you letting this get you down? It's not like he plays for my team." Kurt winked at her and bumped their shoulders together.

"His last two girlfriends were Quinn and Santanna."

"Well they're his exes. Clearly there is something about them that didn't gel."

She smiled. "He's just such a dork and no one thinks he's funny except me."

"You would never try and change him."

"Exactly."

"Well. Do you talk to him?"

"Urm…"

"Talk to him more than usual! Make him notice you!"

"I feel so much better now, thank you Kurt."

He kissed her on the cheek. He didn't mention the problem he was having with Blaine, Mercedes deserved all of his attention right now. "Just keep being yourself, don't change. You don't need too. I do, however, need a new sweater that costs more than I'm allowed to spend, so let's go do that."

xxxxx

Kurt was sat in the sitting room with his family watching bad crime television show marathons and enjoying listening to Carole explain the plots to Finn. He excused himself when his phone rang, his heart jumped when he felt the vibrations and then sank when he saw it wasn't Blaine, but Thad ringing him, it sank even further when he realised Thad was Blaine's roommate and that this probably would mean nothing good.

"Thad?"

"Blaine's being sick again. He's really bad."

Shit. Kurt was angry and he was upset and concerned but had he been at Dalton he would have been at Blaine's side straight away. "Thad, I'm home for the weekend."

"Oh yeah. Sorry Kurt. I forgot. It's just he clearly doesn't want me here, and to be honest he's being a bit of a jackass but I cant leave him when he's sick…"

"Just, make sure he has a glass of water okay? He'll appreciate it, I promise and I don't know what else you can do."

"Okay."

"Thanks for calling me though, bye Thad."

Kurt fell into bed that night with his mind swirling. Blaine was sick again, through worry or illness Kurt didn't know. What he did know was that Blaine didn't want him to know and they were arguing and Mercedes was doubting her wonderful self.

Suddenly a powerful image of her ran through his mind when she had sung a beautiful rendition of 'you are beautiful' in front of the entire school and he knew that if Sam had any sense at all they would end up together. In fact, she hadn't been down like this since that time they were on the Cheerios together and she had stopped eating.

With that thought, Kurt shot up and yelped.

Because _oh_. All this time, Kurt had noticed Blaine's lack of appetite and that had even been what they had fought about. He had been desperate to work out the reason behind it but maybe it was possible that the lack of appetite was the problem in itself…

It would explain everything wouldn't it? Blaine not eating much, how he was feeling dizzy and sick – because of not eating much. Getting defensive when Kurt had finally noticed. Hell, it explained so much more than this. His mind raced over the conversation they had together where Blaine insisted he was in no way perfect.

The feeling of dread deep within his stomach was a strong indicator of how right Kurt thought he was about this. He had to talk to Blaine.

Kurt had no idea what to do about this, but he knew that he had to do something because Blaine was currently at Dalton being sick and probably throwing up nothing. His heath was at serious risk.

He wasn't tackling an issue that was causing this behaviour and this self-neglect, because that behaviour _was_ the issue in itself.

Blaine had an eating disorder.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Longest chapter yet! Hope you're all proud of me! lol :P

To those who picked up on Blaine's eating habits you almost made me squeal!

Quite a few people have been saying they really want to know what is wrong with him, and now you know. (Mostly. Mwahahaha.) What do you think? The ending wasn't as strong as I wished, but I hope it had a strong effect.

Also, Mercedes was probably very out of character so I'm sorry for that. I really like her character and Samcedes though and I liked having her old insecurities being what made Kurt recognise Blaine's.

Once again thank you all so much for your support, I really do genuinely appreciate it. Please let me know whether you like this or not, I'm very excited to see what you all think!


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt could see a figure sat on the floor outside of his room, the figure was sat with their head in their knees and their arms wrapped around their legs. He knew instantly it was Blaine.

"Blaine?"

Blaine looked up instantly, "Oh thank god. People have been giving me weird looks all day."

Blaine looked awful. He had bags under his eyes giving the impression someone had coloured them in using a black marker and his actual eyes, were rimmed with red. Since the night before Kurt knew he couldn't be mad at Blaine, and if his discovery hadn't broken his heart the thought of Blaine crying certainly would.

"How long have you been here?"

"Well I didn't know if you'd come back in the evening or the afternoon…"

"Blaine get up." He did. Instantly. He looked sickly and awful and Kurt wondered if he had eaten at all that day. That weekend.

Kurt threw his arms around him

He pulled away when he realised the other had kept his arms pinned to his sides. He muttered. "I don't deserve that."

"Come on." Kurt unlocked his bedroom, he hadn't been able to get away as early as he had liked because he knew the price of doing so was confiding in his dad, and right now he had nothing but sinking suspicions and a desperate need to talk to his boyfriend. Blaine leant down to scoop up something wrapped in shiny red paper from the floor Kurt hadn't even noticed before. "What's that?"

"I brought you something as an apology but I know you and I know you'd have said something to me about trying to buy your affection so I thought I'd give it to you after I grovelled…"

"I don't want presents Blaine."

"I'm so sorry Kurt. I know I treated you, and the others like shit, and what I said to you was horrible. I don't have an excuse. I just hope I can make it up to you enough for me not to have ruined everything. I don't deserve you but please don't break up with me."

In contrast to not returning Kurt's earlier hug Blaine had now wrapped Kurt in his arms and refused to let go. Kurt knew this was his opening. Blaine claiming he had no excuse.

"Blaine you haven't been eating much." Blaine tensed in his arms. Kurt tightened his hold. "You look like you haven't eaten all weekend…you've been sick a few times, and you've been feeling dizzy and weak. I think it's safe to say the two are related." Blaine let out something that sounded like a whimper. "You've kind of lost your confidence lately. And you're very defensive."

"I have to go."

"You've also been making a lot of hasty exits." Kurt slipped past Blaine and sat with his back to the door so Blaine couldn't leave this time.

"Kurt."

"Blaine, I thought that something really horrible was going off with you and I thought that I had to find out what it was because it was effecting your eating…but now, now I think that that's the problem in itself. I'm so worried about you."

Kurt's voice had broken, and he thought it was that that moved Blaine to finally crack.

"I can't help it Kurt…"

"Come on." Kurt grabbed his hand and led them to the bed. They lay side by side, staring at the ceiling and keeping the hands interlinked. Kurt didn't want to have this conversation crouched on the ground he wanted Blaine to be comfortable, physically at least and this way Blaine didn't have to avoid his eyes on purpose.

"Kurt remember when we first met? And we all had coffee?" How could Kurt forget? He thought he was about to be beaten up for spying and although he didn't know it at the time, he had walked out of Dalton having just met one of the most important people in his life. "I told you about how I was bullied as well. But…I wasn't just bullied for being gay. I was fat as well. Fat and ugly."

Kurt rolled onto his side so he could kiss Blaine's cheek, Blaine was too busy blinking too fast to kiss him back.

"At school, there was…the bullies, they locked me in a cupboard. It was a walk in supply closet in the technology department after they finished beating me up. They had the keys, I don't know where from, I bet they stole them. Kurt they left me in there over night. They said a night without food would do me some good."

Kurt felt tears pricking his own eyes, he could never imagine how scared Blaine must have been. He knew though, that Blaine didn't want him to rage right now, or to comment on how terrible that had been, because of course Blaine knew that himself. So instead what came out of his mouth whilst unsteady, was something practical and he hoped it would encourage Blaine would keep talking.

"The teachers didn't do anything about that?"

"No. They let me out early that morning, no one knew."

"Your parents?"

"Didn't notice I was gone for the night. I think they were both out. That was…one of the things that made me leave. It wasn't the worst though. I couldn't go back after that. I'll tell you about it sometime…This time though, I had already started trying to lose weight. But that, that night was torture, just sitting there in the dark and all I could think about was how I deserved it and how they were right – one night without food wouldn't hurt me, I kept thinking about how I was going to be alone forever and when I got out it was like every single molecule in my entire body unanimously agreed that I would have to work harder to lose weight. And I did."

Kurt wanted to know what could have possibly have been worse than that, but Blaine hadn't told him so he would have to wait to find out.

"So…when you first came to Dalton, you were still dealing with feeling like that?"

"I was a mess. It took a long time to realise no one here would hurt me. The guys were great to me. But at first I was exercising as much as I could and I didn't eat a lot at all and I was…I was bad. I was bulimic. It got really serious. It would be all or nothing when it came to food, I would either starve myself or stuff myself and then be sick afterwards."

"Oh Blaine."

"I can feel myself slipping into those habits again. I don't want to eat and when I do I feel horrible afterwards, I feel so guilty. It's not as bad as it was but I'm scared that I'm getting there. Eventually, when I got more confident and after even I had noticed I had lost weight I got better. Now, I'm not as bad. But I think it's coming back."

"So right now, you're not going through that cycle of binging and purging?"

"No."

"But you're not eating well and you've started to exercise again."

"Yes." Blaine's voice was steady, his hand in Kurt's was not.

"Blaine I don't know what the proper term is, I don't know if you have bulimia again, if its anorexia or a combination of the two, but you have an eating disorder. Everyone is so, so worried about you Blaine. We've all noticed something is wrong. We can get you through this. I promise."

Blaine mumbled something and when Kurt's head finally processed the words his heart lurched. "I make myself sick. Food just, it burns me…it makes my skin crawl and I can't keep it down. I don't want to be fat again."

Kurt couldn't conceal the pain in his own voice right now but he wasn't going to stop while Blaine was talking. This was hard but he knew that Blaine had to say this stuff before they could do anything about it, so he ploughed on and asked another question. "Do you know why you've started to feel like this again?"

"I don't want to tell you."

Kurt knew why. This is why Blaine's weird behaviour could be pinpointed to their relationship. Because Blaine was insecure about it. About himself.

"It was me wasn't it? Our relationship. When was the first time you made yourself sick?"

"Before our first date. We, went for that meal, and I wanted to be able to eat it and have a good time."

"Oh Blaine…"

"When I started going out with you those feelings came back you're wonderful and you don't want someone fat and ugly. I just didn't feel good enough for you. Kurt…I don't want to talk any more."

"Then listen." Kurt sat up and gently straddled Blaine's legs, one knee either side of them and pulled his boyfriend to sit upright. Kurt started talking and placed kisses all over his face and neck in-between his words. "I want you to know that," a kiss in his hair, "whilst you are gorgeous," a kiss on the lips, "that is not," a kiss on the eyelid, "the reason I'm with you," kiss on the neck, "the first time I saw you, you took my breath away," kiss on the cheek, "but you continue to do that just by being brilliant. I'm sorry our relationship has had that effect on you." He genuinely was - it had boosted Kurt's confidence through the roof whilst destroying Blaine's in the process.

They had moved up to the headboard and Blaine was clutching onto Kurt's shirt, his head resting on his chest.

"Blaine I don't know what to do. But I'm going to get you through this. I don't want you feeling like you have to change and impress me when all I honestly want is you to be happy and healthy. But Blaine, you have to eat. It's so, so bad for you what you're doing, especially if you're being sick. I'm scared you'll waste away."

Blaine scoffed, "I wish." It made Kurt wince because Blaine wasn't the scornful type of person, he wasn't usually one to be snarky or cruel. To hear him use that tone of voice against himself was so unexpected and sad.

"We can get you through this, we can work on your self-esteem so you can see how wonderful you are and we can try and find a way to get you to eat without making you sick or feel guilty, because you have to eat Blaine. I would rather you be healthy and hate me than be ill."

"If I eat I'll get fat again."

"Rubbish."

"You won't want me Kurt."

"I will always want you just like I always have. I wanted you when you were singing to other guys and sticking your tongue down Rachel Berry's, of all people, throat. You can weigh twice as much as you are now and it wouldn't matter. What I don't want is for you to get any thinner. I'll sit with you every night and eat junk food until we both burst, I don't care Blaine. I'm with you for you, for your beautiful, caring personality. The fact that you will always look stunning to me is just a bonus."

They sat there for hours without talking. Kurt was thinking. He had to do some serious research so that he could offer the help and support Blaine so desperately needed. Blaine didn't say anything, he had said too much already and after a while Kurt realised he was asleep.

Kurt's heart broke when he realised there was a wet patch on his chest from where Blaine had rested his head.

xxxxx

ARGH!

I am so sorry about the wait! Biggest one yet :(

This chapter was really hard to write, I really wanted to do it some justice…I hope it read well with it being very dialogue centred. Please let me know what you think, was it okay? Your support so far has been wonderful, thank you!


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